i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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