sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
