I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
