I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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