i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
