my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
