wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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