C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
