oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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