I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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