He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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