"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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