we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
