"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
