is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
