dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
