It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
