hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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