I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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