Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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