im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
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STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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