This is not my ceiling
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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