It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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