You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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