NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
