vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize