i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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