My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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