Yo dont text me then not text me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
