now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
