Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
