OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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