I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
