K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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