I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
