next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
