She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize