Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
