Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
