dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
