she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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