Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
