I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
