toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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