I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
