I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
