why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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