please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
