I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can't trust your balls anymore.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
