Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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