i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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