Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
