"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
