you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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