we have officially lost it.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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