yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize