Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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