Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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