My friends, they love my intelligence
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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