i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
